Working Towards Perfection.

What is most people's purpose in life ?? It's to work towards a perfect life right ??

But when is it ok to give up or have thoughts of giving up ??

When something exceptional happening to me, there's ALWAYS something else awry with my life. I've always understood how money and success doesn't always lead to happiness. But I never actually got to experience much of that until now. No, I'm not a millionaire and I'm not well off financially. But this past year, I realized how much I'm financially stable (with the help of my family, of course). I have just about everything I want possession-wise; electronics, phones, clothes, shoes, whatever. Only things I really lack of, possession-wise, are probably a couple of shirts and shoes I've been eyeing, a new external hard drive (despite the fact that I already have three), and a new car (despite the fact I already have a pretty decent running car with some exterior damages that can easily be fixed). This year as well, I've been flourishing in school. I've been pulling the right strings so far with networking, meeting people at school, and simply doing my work at school. My point is, despite my successes and financial stability I realized that I achieved, I still find myself not as ecstatic and happy as I could be.

Money and success (and sure, a love life) was what I thought I had to pursue last year to fill in the missing components to somewhat perfect my life. During that time, I had gotten close to a lot of my friends and I worked out a lot, which had me result with a nice body, I always had something to do with my friends and all that, and I didn't have much apprehension with bills or whatever cause I lived at home.

What (did I think) was missing?
• Success in school and with independency (yahh, I could've done much more here. I relied a lot on my parent to do everything)
• More possessions I've been eyeing (I couldn't spend as much as I wanted compared to now or I would've gone broke at the time)
• A close relationship with my family (I'll admit, I did a lot of messed up things to my fam. I neglected them throughout last year and was almost never at home. When I was at home, I was usually only there to sleep and eat)

Fast forward to the present. I attained everything I was missing last year. I'm seeing success in school and am working towards independency. I say that cause my parents are still helping me a lot; it's just that I'm not living at home. The majority of the possessions I've been wanting, I've bought. New laptop, new bike, new clothes, new shoes, new watches, new jewelry, new everything. I've also become real close to my fam; more specifically, I've become really close with my sister. With all these progressions, I noticed that I sacrificed much to retrieve these luxuries. My body went bye-bye, I don't go out as much as I did compared to last year, but most importantly, I don't have many close friends anymore. Yes, I still have two close friends and I'm thankful for that. But considering all these relationships that slowly transited from best friends or really close friends to mere hang-out buddies or acquaintances, I'm feeling like I've lost more than I've gained.

One of my good friends told me that ever since he hooked up with his girl, everything in his life seems grand and perfect. Maybe that's what I need. These past couple years, that's what's always been missing in my life, an actual love life. But I think when I find one, which could possibly be within the next couple weeks *cough*, I still have to sacrifice much leaving me at the same place I started.

Right now, I've gotten close to my fam, gotten most of the possessions I've been wanting, and I'm financially stable and doing great in school; things I didn't have just last year. But the year before that, I didn't have those things, but instead had the things I'm without currently. By adding this missing component, I'm going to lose what I have right now, either my successes or my relationship with my fam. I don't know what, but I'm going to lose something to moment I get anything I'm missing in my life.


What do I have to do to perfect my life because I still feel the same way right now compared to this time last year. I'm yet to be any happier than I am now, which I don't think is a good thing. And I know I'm too young to feel this way. This is in no way a blog entry of me complaining about a love life; this is a blog of my complaining how it's impossible for me to ever become happy because I'll always have to sacrifice something in order to acquire something else. Something is wrong with me, but I don't know exactly what it is. I know what's missing in my life, but that still doesn't tell me what's wrong with me and my life. Am I asking for too much ?? Or do I have a wrong outlook at the definition of happiness ?? Cause the way I see myself right now, it's impossible to ever feel totally joyous and content with my life. So to conclude, would these reasons give me enough of an ethical reason to give up if I know it's impossible to achieve a perfect life ??